Tuesday, October 22, 2013

The Power of Rumor


The Power of Rumor

Many of you may know that I spent a year of my undergraduate schooling in Canada, at a small private junior college just outside Vancouver, BC….. It was a year that changed my life direction. It was there that I learned something about the possibility (necessity!) of meaning and purpose beyond myself, about the value of an advisor who was willing to mentor me (priceless!), and it was there that I also learned something about the power of rumor.


While in BC, I developed a deep (but platonic) relationship with another student, a woman whose name I cannot now remember but whose face I can see as clearly as I did 40 years ago. We shared stories of life and love and our dreams yet to be realized, and we were both just “geeky” enough to be able to draw close to each other without it ever turning to romance…. what a privilege to have a true female friend!  Finished with my year there, I returned to the US and she went back to her Canadian home somewhere in Alberta (I think), and that was the end of it…. until I got a letter from another friend telling me that my female friend was pregnant under less than ideal circumstances. Oh, I remember how distressed I felt at thinking about what she must be going through and it didn’t take more than a minute before I was writing a long letter to her, telling her how much I believed in her and would support her in any way I could….. About a week later I received a letter in response to mine, explaining that she wasn’t pregnant, never had any reason for her (or anyone else!) to believe that she was, but nonetheless so very grateful for the support that I had extended to her. Boy, was I embarrassed (and relieved!)

So, what did I learn?
  • I learned that the half-live of a rumor is directly related to the scandal associated with it.  No one even thought to spread a rumor about the platonic nature of the relationship I had with my friend, or about how we were learning so much about ourselves by sharing our thoughts and experiences with each other.  But a rumor about an untimely pregnancy spread like wildfire, even without the aid of social media!
  • I learned that not every rumor is true.  In fact, most of them aren't.  The truth of our lives is seldom as interesting as the stories that can be made up, and reality seldom lends the strength of support that we seek for our purposes.
  • I learned that, as weird and uncomfortable as it might feel, going to the source is the best way to know the truth.  Inquire instead of assume.  Not only do we learn the truth, but we build clearer lines of communication and stronger relationships in the process.  Rumors are the product of “talking about” instead of “talking with” and have a corrosive effect on both relationships and community.  
So, what rumors have we heard lately?  

Monday, October 7, 2013

Mentors and Moments

Ronald Ray Hamann
July 24th, 1933 – September 22nd, 2013


It has been said that boys do not grow up to become men on their own, but instead are prodded and guided by people and events that demonstrate to them that the change is worth its while.  Adult male mentors are a key to a boy’s maturation process, as are those critical moments that cause a boy to wonder about things beyond themselves….. things like purpose.   The death of my father brought mentor and moment together.

What did I feel when my dad died?  What thoughts have I had when I think about who he was in my life and the void that is now there in his death?  The best way for me to make sense of my feelings and thoughts is to write about them, so I volunteered to write his Eulogy……
- - - - - - -

Born on July 24th, 1933, Ronald Hamann was the first child of Henry and Loretta Hamann, older than his identical twin brother, Donald, by only a few minutes.  Over the next decade the family grew with the addition of two more sons, Gordon and Arlyn, forming the workforce for the family-run dairy farm in Hardwick, Minnesota that they and the generations after came to see as the Hamann homestead.

It was while still in high school that Ron met Gerri DeVries.  Football player meets pep band trombonist, and the rest is history.  On August 5th, 1952 and at the tender age of 19, Ron and Gerri were wed.  Nine months and three days later their first son, Greg, was born.  Then, following a familiar family pattern, over the next decade Ron and Gerri added three more sons to their family, Bob, Randy, and Rich.

While Ron and Gerri started their life together on the Hamann homestead, they were not destined to be farmers.  Over the years, the growing family moved from Hardwick, to Minneapolis, to Mohall (ND), to Redwood Falls (MN), to Minneapolis again, and then finally – in the spring of 1964 – to Bloomington, while Ron went to school, became a Medical Technologist, went to school again, became a high school teacher, and then went to 3M as a quality control engineer and teacher/trainer.  He retired from 3M after 29 years of service there.

Throughout all the years, all the moves, all the careers, and all the changes, the two constants in Ron and Gerri’s lives have been their love for each other and their love for the Lord.  Always active in church and making a daily practice of family devotions and prayer around the dinner table, they demonstrated to their four sons their firm conviction that God was the anchor and guidepost for their lives.  And, over time, each of the four sons came to accept and acknowledge this for themselves.

There is a long list of people by whom Ron is “survived,” but here’s the short version:
  • Gerri, wife of 61 years who proclaims that “Ron was the only man I ever loved,”  the truth of which has been evident throughout their life together.
  • Greg, who went on to marry Rita, and have been blessed with their adopted son, Mike.
  • Bob, who went on to marry Kathy, and they have been blessed with a son and a daughter, Zach and Erin.
  • Randy, who whet on to marry Peggy, and they have been blessed with four children, Kristi, Mike, Brandon, and Ryan.
  • Rich, who went on to marry Deb, and they have been blessed with two sons, Trevor and Nathan.
  • Nine grandchildren, two great grandchildren, brothers Gordon and Arlyn, and a cat named Stash.

Ron is also survived by memories that his wife and sons hold dear:
  • His famous sayings like “If a little is good, a lot is better,” and “Oh, my achin’ back,” and “That’s not good for your gizzard.” (His sons would come to question their dad’s knowledge of human anatomy as they grew older….)
  • Images of him walking around the house in his “tighty-whities” with a hair comb stuck under the elastic band.
  • Wrestling with him and being tickled until we cried……..

And finally, and perhaps most importantly, Ron is "survived" by more than a list of people.  He is survived by the indelible mark his faith has made on those around him.  His wife, his sons and their families, the family at Oxboro Church, and other friends and neighbors too numerous to count, all saw something of Christ in Ron and, at least in part because of the example of his faith, many chose to join Ron in a journey of life that survives even death.