Friday, January 18, 2013

Giving Us the Room to Grow


I look on in dismay as the story of Manti Te’o’s non-existent girlfriend unravels and now is being dissected with a level of intensity that can only be explained by a collective defensiveness at having been duped.  Subsequently, questions about who knew what, when and how drown out the one question that matters – Why?

I won’t pretend to have any insights into the particular details of Manti Te’o’s story, but I can tell you that this one reminds me of so many that I know from my past.  As a person who has worked closely with college-aged students my whole professional life, I’ve seen a lot…

Ø  There was the young girl who kidnapped herself for a week

Ø  A young man who demolished his own dorm room and claimed it to be the work of a jealous past relationship

Ø  Another man who took a sledge hammer to his own car and filed a crime report with the police

Ø  A young man who claimed to have inadvertently witnessed a major drug deal and now was in fear for his life

Ø  A younger man who wrote pseudonymous love letters to himself and left them out for others to discover

We – all of us – do a lot of “strange” things to try and find meaning and “place” in our young adult lives.  I have seen and been a part of lot of this, so much so that I no longer find it all that strange.  In fact, to the best of my knowledge, most of these people have grown up to lead healthy and productive lives…. some of them in places of great power, and responsibility.  One thing for which I am grateful is that these young people had the benefit of growing through these experiences beyond the spotlight of our voyeuristic interest.  

Manti Te’o is not just a news story.  There are lives at stake here and I believe that, if given the respect and compassion that every young person needs and deserves, Manti Te’o’s life will turn out just fine.

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